Pardon my disappearing act, time has moved in fast-forward that I can't remember the in between. I have been trying to place priority first, given up posting, let go of social media and just shut off the world. Last year was, I can say, the worst year of my life. And now I feel like I am slowly picking up the pieces. Appreciating the smaller things and the changes, which, of course, a blessing in disguise. I was disturbed, emotional, and hurt. However, I didn't understand that the higher being had a bigger plan for me, and I am truly grateful. I just sit back and let shit happen, like it is suppose to.
My flower suffocated, dismantled and poisoned. Disturbance changed my life, perspective and vision.
When you need that one thing and have to fight to get it, does that mean
it isn't meant for you? How do you know when to let things go just to live a
normal life? Normal sounds so cliché, nothing is ever normal anymore. I am
learning to put myself first but only if I knew this 10 years ago, never
sacrifice your happiness for anything. Your happiness is what's important,
whether if others get hurt, it’s you or them.
You ever woke up wishing you had a talent, whether it is baking, sewing, singing or even refurbishing furniture. It makes you so angry because you feel as if your life is a waste. You work 9-5 miserably because you have to. Doing what you love and getting paid for it is a dream and an internal luxury. Why can’t we all live the dream? I thought life was all about happiness and its pursuit? But they won’t allow me to pursue, I have to work to eat. I realized that I am actually a robot, I am programmed to live this way. They lied to us, and we are forgiving them by working til 70. Then we must live their dream and die already.